Better say a few words about the farm and the boss. We all moved to this 50 acre farm about four years ago, that’s me and my ten wives, the boss Phil and his wife Caroline. She is nice, sometimes when boss isn’t here, out delivering arks, she feeds up and us always get extra those nights and a good old head scratch too.

When we came here there was nothing except for an old run down piggery. Boss took a flyer on that, he should have demolished it completely and started again but he said if he did that the Council wouldn’t allow him to rebuild it. So he had it jacked up and rebuilt every wall individually. By this time the council’s enforcement officer was well involved, telling him to stop work and send in plans. But boss pressed on, got the roof on and then put in for this thing called planning permission.

Boss says he made sure we were alright before he got his own home sorted out. My house is brilliant. I have even have got one of those turf roofs. Before he did my roof, when I had a few of my wives in, condensation used to pour onto me.  Boss is quite clever (not a patch on me !!), he got some old insulation, put that on the metal roof sheets, covered it with that shelterflex waterproof sheeting, then put a 6” layer of old rain damaged hay and then threw some grass seed over. I am really snug now and the wild birds love it. Boss says turf roof looks good but I can’t see it !!

Heard boss talking today about this planning permission malarkey, he says they’ve got a temporary permission for three years and they’re having buildt a two bedroom log home. Evidently they had to get reports done that proved the farm can make an agricultural income for three years then they can apply for permission for a permanent house.

Us pigs don’t have any of this nonsense, all our houses are on skids which makes them portable so no permission needed. Boss said he used that New Landowner crowd for the reports, he reckoned they were brilliant.

He reckons it also helped them selling my offspring through the farm shop they built. I don’t like thinking about it but they say we’re a rare breed and, because we live outside, we taste delicious. It isn’t all my babies going through that shop. Boss goes through the litters when they are born and sorts out all the best girls and they get put into the breeding pens.